


Boundaries of Eternity

by Bazylia_de_Grean



Series: If Thou Art Broken [8]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: (Deadfire ending spoilers), Eothas (mentioned), Gen, Watcher Eira (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 08:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17241143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bazylia_de_Grean/pseuds/Bazylia_de_Grean
Summary: He remembers the beginning; a moment of stillness that propelled life into motion again. A terrible thing to behold. This is worse.In other circumstances, it would have been amusing that of all gods and mortals, Eothas was the one to chose Thaos’ own methods and call that path good without a second thought.





	Boundaries of Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> (Prompt 72: carol.  
> Inspired by a traditional Polish Christmas carol, “Bóg się rodzi”("God is born”); the fragment that inspired the fic is something like: "Fire freezes, brightness darkness | The Eternal/Limitless has limits".)

Eira agreed to leave him on the ship instead of taking him to Ukaizo, concluding that maybe it would be wise not to bring one of Eothas’ enemies to that particular talk. Good advice, and not a lie. But the real reason why he did not want to accompany her there is because he knows what will happen. Eira will curse him for that later, but in time she will understand that there was nothing either of them could do, not at this point. Perhaps not ever; Eothas, like Iovara, is too blinded by his own light to see the cost of his decisions, to realize that others will pay the price of his absolution. And he certainly did not want to witness that.

But the true reason is that he simply could not bear being so close. No cipher should. He recalls Sun in Shadow and then the first turn of the Wheel; he has a lot of ideas what to expect. He knows from experience that no matter what he comes up with, it will be different.

Even trapped on ‘The Defiant’ in a piece of adra, he can tell when it begins. There are cracks in the seams of reality – of dimensions. And then the Wheel breaks and the cracks widen into tears and the world and the Beyond are within his reach. Thaos touches the shimmering borders with his insubstantial hands, can actually _feel_ something other than adra and essence beneath his fingers… and withdraws. He will stay and take responsibility.

Before he can change his mind, the Wheel crumbles. In a blink of an eye, the borders become solid. Then – they disappear. No soul or mortal can cross something that no longer exists.

And then comes _silence_. Not the lack of sound, not the void drawing all the noises in until nothing is left; no. The absence of the very force that fuels life. All the ciphers and Watchers across Eora can sense it – and all will miss it because they do not recognize what they feel. They will not comprehend until later.

He remembers the beginning; a moment of stillness that propelled life into motion again. A terrible thing to behold. This is worse.

Faintly, he can track the veins of adra across Ukaizo and beyond. Rivers of essence, flowing with the momentum, and then crashing against the surface, having nowhere to go. The channels already begin to clog. The flame of life froze for a heartbeat, and now it dances on, unaware that it is already changing its colour.

The world can no longer breathe; it simply has not realized it yet. In a generation, it will start withering if they do not stop that. And to just retrace the steps of his people, they will need time. Perhaps more than they have, he thinks with distaste, recalling how Eira struggled to get anyone’s attention and accomplished nothing until she mentioned Ukazio, and everyone saw lost treasures and profit.

And they have even less time than they realize. Without the flow of essence, adra will start decaying. In a few months, it will begin losing its shine. If they hope to achieve anything, Poko Kohara will have to be one of the first sites they rebuild, and fast. It will finally get used as it was intended to, before they decided it could hasten their plans – as a safety measure. As he hoped it would never have to be used. But in a few years, adra will grow noticeably more dim, and without adra, all their struggles will be futile.

But time is not the only issue. He knows – recalls much too clearly, remembers too well – what they will have to do to accomplish that. Some things cannot be taught in theory only; some things can only be learned by practice, and _that_ will require them to break souls, sometimes their own. He knows – he knows firsthand.

They think they can conquer the world and dethrone the gods, they think they are afraid of nothing. They cannot even imagine the burden. Some do not care and never will, but that will not stop them from trying – and they will accomplish nothing but terrible mistakes, to be remembered across the ages that might never come. There is a difference between doing one’s duty and simply not caring.

There is a difference between doing good and doing what one believes is the right thing. He knows. Eothas should have remembered that, too. Should have thought back to his birth and what came before, should have considered that his decision would force people to do what he called so atrocious all over again. Thaos has never liked him, but now – now he is past disdain, past contempt, past revulsion. For the first time in his life, he learns the meaning of hatred.

In other circumstances, it would have been amusing that of all gods and mortals, Eothas was the one to chose Thaos’ own methods and call that path _good_ without a second thought. To be so heartbroken and saddened over the grave mistakes of the past only to make them again, to force them upon people and call it _mercy_.

Eira would – will – say that he has no right to accuse Eothas, but Thaos was there and remembers _everything_ , and he has _all_ the rights. To make such sacrifice meaningless is _blasphemy_ , and that is what Eothas did. Demanded the world to make the same sacrifice _again_. There is no more terrible sin.

And Thaos failed to stop it. He was powerless; oh, he could have told Eira of the means that might have worked, but she would have never stood against her god. Now she will have to face the consequences – and he hopes he will not be forced to tell her that.

He is just a soul trapped in an adra, with nothing but a voice and a thought at his disposal, and Eothas did not want to listen even to one of his faithful. There were things Eira did not want to listen to, either… but he could have made her. He could have done more.

Thaos feels the world coming to a halt around him, and he is furious. At Eothas. At Eira. At all those foolish mortals who always, always refuse to listen. At the gods. At himself, maybe most of all.

When Eira comes back, he will tell her everything. He will guide her to all the secrets. As a construct or in one of those abominations they called Saints, if he has to.

All the centuries of work destroyed, all the sacrifices thrown away as if they were worthless… All the attempts to stop _that_ from happening ever again wasted. He can do nothing but try to save what little can be salvaged. Perhaps it would be better to let the world die – but he has not spent ages of service trying to preserve it only to give up on it in the end.

He is tired. So tired. Already exhausted past what his soul can endure. It would be so easy to give into temptation, to lie down to rest… He cannot. There is too much work ahead of them. He will do his duty, fulfil his oath to the last faded letter.

He always knew it would end in dust. Perhaps when it finally happens, he will join his people that way, at least.

What a good thing, he muses, that souls cannot produce tears.


End file.
